You don't know what you got, 'til you're missing it a lot. I had to go throw it away...

Well, the past few weeks have been great and weird and depressed moody all at the same time. I've been feeling lonely...which is weird. But it's how it is. I've also felt somewhat empty. My Mom's been getting quite a bit of work and I've actually enjoyed helping her, tonight was an exception because I didn't do the greatest job helping her. I guess, retardedly, I'm just tired. So why I'm still awake now and instead of in bed, where I know I should be, but still here at the computer I sit. I sit. I guess for lack of a better term I've felt somewhat empty... I'm not one hundred percent sure why, but I do. I'm certain it has something to do with the fact that I haven't been to church in a couple weeks...and won't be until the second Sunday of June. I wasn't there the 23rd because of my stupid job. I wasn't there Sunday the 30th because my family and I went down to Richfield for Memorial Day...so instead of being in church I was at the Richfield Cemetery for 2 hours and immediately after was the Monroe Cemetery for an additional 2 hours and got the sunburn of my life on my chest and it hurts like a monkey.

I am getting so sick of the people I work with I could puke, and here's why. Well, the most recent chunk of what's been building up. Anyways, on Friday I found out that Shanna was going to get Saturday the 29th off to make up for hours that she'd be working on Monday the 31st, which is totally fine, were it not for the fact that she didn't work on Thursday therefore making it so she didn't go over hours and wouldn't need Saturday off. You see, at my work we get 2 days off a week. The pay period starts on Thursday and ends on the following Wednesday. And when a holiday lands on your day off you need to have another day off. I.E. Memorial Day, always lands on a Monday. Monday's are Nancy's day off. So she had to have today off, another day off in the same pay period, to make it so she didn't go over hours. And recently Shanna has acquired Mondays off as well, to accommodate Nancy's being busy on Thursdays now due to the doctor coming in for five appointments in the morning, anyways that's beside the point. So, Shanna needed another day off in the same pay period, right? Right. And she didn't work Thursday, correct? Yes. So, I now ask WHY does she need another day off? She's already had here other day off, right? So, if she doesn't work Saturday then she'll be short on hours, correct? Yes, yes, yes, YES! Okay, so I'm not upset she's going to be short on hours, that doesn't affect me. What bothers me to NO END is the fact that they both dismiss my comments and treat me like I'm some 20 year-old know-nothing twit. And it's infuriating. I'm not stupid. I do, in fact, know what I'm talking about and you do not need to treat me like I'm some sort of retard. Nancy, did you not hire me? Did you not trust my judgment? So, why the ignorance now? I'd like to see your face once I tell you bye-bye and Shanna winds up being a gigantic pain in your ass. A pain in the ass who lies to your face and who steals from your company. I just do not trust her. I don't trust you, Nancy and I need to find a new job NOW!
Ugh, I'm so aggravated and tired and just DONE with it all.

Loves loves. :]

It's like zero gravity...

Just in case you are wondering, yes. Yes, I do title my blogs after lines of songs I'm listening to at the time of typing. :] So, now that's been clarified... I've decided that I really do like my job but I just can't take the gals I work with. Shanna, once again didn't clock out today when she went to go and pick up her husband. I understand that you're probably under a ton of stress with your son being in the hospital. But to me it sounds like he's doing well and he's awake and alert and not in trouble of something going wrong. So, focus on your job and be honest. Nancy, just two weeks ago we were on a three way with Guy and you chewed me a new one about how badly I treat you and how I never do what you ask and how I always do what you tell me not to do and about how crappy of a worker I am and blah, blah, blah. Well I find it funny how after said reaming you act like nothing's wrong. And it bugs me, I just can't work with someone who I can't trust. And I honestly feel like I can't trust you. I wish things were different, but you've made them this way. I'm super sorry that things like this are happening but I just can't deal with it for much longer.

Well the search for new employment isn't as easy as I would've hoped but I just hope I can find something as soon as possible. This week hasn't been as bad because Shanna has been out with her son's surgery, but next week it looks like it's all going back to normal so we'll see how things go.

Unfortunately this is the most eventful my life's been the past couple of weeks. I know, I'm lame. But it's me. So I guess I'll just have to survive. :]

Oh, and I have to shpeal a bit about that little boy, Ethan Stacy. I'm just so saddened by what happened to him. I pray that he wasn't in too much pain, for too long. And I also hope that Nathan Sloop dies in the same sort of way that the one guy did in the first part of "Law Abiding Citizen" where he can feel all the pain in the world. (If you don't know that scene it's probably a good thing. It's quite icky. But a sufficient expression of the pain that man deserves to feel.) Now, I realize that he will meet his maker and be punished justly but I just can't help but feel like he deserves to suffer. And that conniving beastly mother of his deserves to be beaten as well. I hope she rots in jail and writhes in the guilt she deserves to feel. I also feel so much for Joe Stacy, Ethan's biological father, whom, I can't even imagine, is probably feeling so much grief. My thoughts and prayers are with his family and friends in hopes that they can feel of our Savior's love and know that Ethan is in the arms of his loving Heavenly Father. I can't help but tear up at the thought of what that little boy went through.

Well, that's basically all I can think of at the moment.

Loves loves. :]

You can fool anyone but I've got eyes to see...

So the past week or so has been kind of hard. I've decided I really just need a new job. I'm not a big fan of how the people at my company treat me and I'm not for people cheating on their time clock, yes Shanna I did see that you faked clocking out when you went to pick up your husband and it was confirmed to me that you didn't because when you went to "clock back in" there was NO entry showing you clocked OUT! You're a liar and a cheater and I can't stand you. Nancy, you need to grow some balls and tell me if there's something I need to fix. I've hated getting chewed out by Guy because you don't have the guts to tell me yourself. Guy, you're a complete and utter ass. You have no heart, you're all business and don't consider people's feelings. And quite frankly the things you chewed me out for the other day are NOT all my fault. The one guy's a freaking sh*thead and complete and utter ass just like you. He's blowing things SO far out of proportion and wouldn't let me get a word in edgewise. To me it's HIS fault things didn't get taken care of because he wouldn't let me say one damn thing. The company's policies are just a little stupid, too. Wow kill me for adding a warranty for that man and him PAYING for a new lens and a new frame. I didn't call you because I knew you were just going to say yes anyways and I figured I'd save you the pain of having to call me when you're oh so completely busy in Detroit. My bad. Won't happen again. But then again I REALLY don't think it's going to happen again because I'm done with your company and it's employees.

Ah. Thank you for letting me get that off my chest.
Oh and then plus my little sister is in a fight with her best friend and she's a conniving piece of work. Her Mom and sister, too. Sure both parties are at fault. But honestly it's her(the best friend) who's the issue. Sure, I'm a little biased but I still try to be as fair as possible. Dry sarcasm is something my family doesn't really do. And just because our families are different and act different doesn't mean that you have to be offended at these stupid little things. When you look for the bad in someone you're going to find it. And that's where it's hurting you. If you'd look for the better I think your attitude would be one million times better. Oh man. It's like dejavu(sp??) of my senior year stupid stupid stupid fights that ruined close close friendships. That's part of the reason I hate seeing this because I know of the damage stupid things like this can cause and it's near irreparable. And I don't want to see her like I was. Because I know how much it hurts and I know how awkward it is and I think this just needs to be resolved as soon as possible. Because if it doesn't I'm just gonna have to go over and kick some ask. :]

Loves loves. :]

And in my dreams I've kissed your lips a thousand times...

I just realized how grammatically incorrect "kissed your lips A THOUSAND times" is... shouldn't it be "one thousand" Hmmm, Oh well.

Well most precious people who are reading this... I'm sorry I'm such a bore. That's how eventful my life is right now...I just notice grammatical errors...and I probably make grammatical errors of my own. Oh well.:]

So, I was feeling snoopy on Facebook the other day and I've seen this guy at the Empress a few times, the first he was in Seven Brides For Seven Brothers...and i've seen him in the Jester's Royale thereafter. And I've always thought he was cute...so I decided to see if he was on Facebook..well he is. And it also turns out that he also has a blog. So me being in my snoopy mood I decided to go and look at it and I found on one of his posts he'd written a list of one hundred things that bug him... some of them I agreed with, but others I was simply offended by. Haha. How could he sincerely NOT like these things, I mean it left me mind-boggled a bit. Like his
"12. She's The Man"... HOW can you hate She's The Man?! I mean REALLY!
"18. Picture Texts" I mean honestly child, how can you hate picture texts?!
"42. Owl City and that stupid "Fireflies" song." Wow, have you got no soul!?!
"69. Nickelback." Blasphemy. Honest to goodness, blasphemy.
"71. Marshmallow Peeps." I have no response to this INSANE-NESS!
"83. The insane popularity of Twilight." You're just jealous you're not that liked!
"100. Dating." Now this one I can understand. ;]
It's a good thing he didn't diss GLEE. Or Law and Order: SVU. Or we'd have some sincere issues!! Haha.

Loves loves. :]

I've been alone with you inside my mind...

I have officially decided that my bizarre need to write a blog when I really should be in bed is just fun. And it's sometimes is going to be the only time I remember that I need to write something. Well this week's been crazy. Nancy's been on vacation and will be back on Saturday. Shanna and I have gotten along pretty well. And thankfully we haven't had to work together a lot. There's been a TON of stuff we've needed to get done and while I've been trying to keep our little corner from looking like a pigsty she's been busy helping a few customers, texting her husband and making personal phone calls. Yup, while at work. And yes, while there have been customer's in the store. And NO I'm not joking. But I'm not really in the mood to start ranting and raving about the things that are just absolutely driving me insane with her because it will take you a good 20 minutes to read this particular entry. And I just am not completely in the mood to write a novel. But trust me I have PLENTY to say. Maybe I'll include a few spurts here and there in the next few blog entries... maybe. :]

Well GLEE started again this week and I just LOVE IT!!!! Oh, and I've also fallen in love with the song that Jesse, the lead male in vocal adrenaline, and Rachel sing in the music store (which I first thought was a library, and was incredibly confused as to why there was a piano in the middle of the aisles and people who clapped when they finished their little performance. OOPS, I then realized I was mistaken in my initial thought that it was a library. Haha.) Which is "Hello" by Lionel Richie. LOVE IT!!!

Cars are a PAIN IN MY BUTT!! First my seat belt has been going crazy. It's one of those track shoulder belts that moves every time you open/shut the door. Well before last week it just had its fits were it wouldn't go back all of the way so I'd have to pull it back. Then there were times it wouldn't go forward so I'd have to climb out from underneath it. And this had been going on for a couple weeks now. Then this past week it just hasn't worked. It just won't go back. And there's not one prayer in heaven that I could pull it back. And that lasted for approximately 5 days then just the day before yesterday it moved part of the way. Leaving this extremely greasy cord thing hanging out all of the time that I'd have to play limbo with while getting in and out of my car. All the while the seat belt just sat there. So today my wonderful Papa cut that stupid little cord and now I can just pull the seat belt back into position and forward as needed. LOVE IT! OH and then when my Dad gets home he tells me that I basically have a flat right rear tire. Which I did notice it was a bit low a couple days ago, but I just hadn't actually looked at it yet, and hadn't mentioned it to my Dad. So he used our compressor to fill it up with the air needed and now I get to go to Les Schwab in the morning and get it fixed. OH JOY! Just what I wanted to do before I get to work. Ai yai yai!

I also got meh herr done today so it's shorter and BLONDE...well mostly blonde. I guess it's more like heavily weaved. But it looks SO much better than it did before. And it had been begging me for a haircut for a couple months now. So I listened to it's request. And I'm incredibly happy with it. I mean 78 bucks later I better be happy with it! I mean really.

Well it's probably and definitely a good thing I didn't include my rants about Shanna in this or else you'd REALLY hate me. :] And this entry would be about twenty times longer than it already is. I mean it's taken me about 15 minutes to write it. I can't imagine how long it'd take to read it. So if you're reading this far, thanks. I'm sorry my life is boring and I rant about stupid things but I've got no other life so I'm totally okay with it. :]

Oh and I'm sorry but I must rant about this one thing. I have decided lately that I'm just going to plan on being single for the rest of my life. But I also feel like I think that way because I really feel much too young to be thinking about marriage. And it helps me to know that just because I'm not married by the time I'm 19 I'm still okay. When I watch tv like, Say Yes To The Dress (which I LOVE by the way) I see ladies back there that are at least 5-10 years older than me and are just getting married and just starting a family. I've come to realize that it's okay if I'm not married real real soon. If it's going to happen it's going to happen. And I've totally learned to trust that lesson learned. I've learned to trust more that the Lord has a plan for me. And if I was supposed to be married by 19 I'd have been married by now. But obviously that's not the way it's supposed to be. And I'm not going to let it drive me crazy by being single. Being single is a good thing. It's given me an opportunity to discover things that I want to do. And some of these things I want to do would be especially hard with a family. A few of the things on this list of things I want to do are:
*travel with a couple friends to Las Vegas for the NASCAR race down there.
*drive myself up to Yellowstone and spend a couple days up there.
*move into my own apartment.
*buy my own car (and actually be able to afford it.)
*buy my own couch (I know that probably seems silly but it's just one of those things that I've just died to do... Laugh if you want. It actually makes me giggle too.)
*expand my dvd collection
*buy my own plates and silverware...(Another one of those silly things I've always died to do. :] )

And that's the few I can think of at the moment. There are many more that find their way into my brain every once and a while... I just can't think of any at the moment. :]
I'm sorry this entry is so stinking long. But thanks for reading. :]

Loves loves. :]

I think it's time to try defying gravity...

Well hola! :] What a lovely Wednesday night. Today the weather was beautiful. I got to work today from 10-3:15. I was only supposed to work until 2 but it was SUPER insane. I felt bad for leaving Shanna alone. And I hope it wasn't too hectic for her after I left. Because I know what it's like to be alone and overwhelmed and I know how insane it can get. Plus she has to work all day tomorrow alone. I don't envy her that's for sure. But I do thank her for taking the day to work so I could have the day off. I need to go to my class to turn in my paper but to also work on our group presentation. Plus I get to go to the dentist to get two stupid fetching in-between the teether cavities filled. BAH! I really do floss! I swear I do. But apparently not well enough. Stupid. How joyful it'll be to be numb tomorrow...HA! I better remember my iPod or I think I might die from the disgusting squeal of the drill. Ugh. It absolutely makes me cringe. I'd take being numb in my entire mouth and cheeks for three days in a row over having to endure the squealing drill. Blech!!

I discovered tonight "Defying Gravity" sung by Kurt and Rachel of Glee and I simply must say that I'M IN LOOOOOOVE!! I've probably listened to this song 50 times... I LOVE it!!! Great music, great lyrics, and two fantastic people singing it. Man, if I had her lungs I'd be in heaven! :]

Whelp. Nancy's on vacation and won't be back until Saturday the 17th. So it's just Shanna and me. Just the two of us and it's bizarre. Nancy gave her SO many more hours. And I mean we REALLY do NOT need to work together so much. She drives me crazy. And I'm probably just as annoying to her. Which is fine with me. :] And as hard as it may be to believe I just really don't feel like saying much more tonight. But I'll post again soon.

Loves loves. :]

Whether with a thousand players or a lonely cast of one...

Well this week has been a good one I'd say. Got to have the day off due to hours today. AND I get tomorrow off. Which I'm rather excited about, especially since my little sister Lisa will be home. Dang that snow. I mean REALLY I was planning on being nice to my dog and taking her out for a walk while getting myself some exercise.

I have decided that I need to change my eating and work out habits. The work out habits especially, because for the last real long time, I have had no sort of work out regimen or any drive to get off my butt. But now we are GOING to change that.

I've said since high school that attitude is everything. And I truly believe that fully. If you have the attitude that you can't to do anything you really won't be able to do anything. If your telling yourself that you're going to go nowhere in life you will go nowhere. If you keep telling yourself that you can you're going to find that you really can. And there's where I'm changing my attitude about working out. I will find a way.

Yes there are certain things that I absolutely hate to do. RUNNING is one of them. I HATE running. My chest goes up and down like nobody's business and it makes me incredibly uncomfortable and self-conscious. Plus I, and I'm sorry this is a little bit of tmi, but I can hold in my pee as well as a woman who's had 5 children. And anything rigorous or something stupid like jumping up and down, doing jumping jacks, and even jump roping. And it just BUGS me. I HATE feeling like an old granny who can't make it to the freaking bathroom in time. So, I've done my darndest to keep from running no matter what. Well I'm hoping that I can change that. We'll see. Since it snowed today I couldn't try it out, but I will. Soon I hope.

I'm sorry for the lameness nature of this blog but I just can't really think of a ton to write about.

OH! But I did buy a book today about marriage and stuff from Seagull Book and a talk on CD from this one Mary lady addressing single people. AND and orange chocolate truffle. Needless to say I've already enjoyed my truffle. :] Oh, and I must add that there is this boy in my writing class and he is just TOO cute. I think I've decided that I want to try to buddy up with him a little bit more.... because he is too cute and single and RM to pass by! :]]

Loves loves!