Well, when I thought of writing a blog it sounded like a real good idea. Now, I have no motivation to type. Haha. Oh my.
Oh well. Tomorrow I get to go back down to Provo and I hope hope hope hope hope this is the last time for a while. A real long while, preferably.
I lost 4.6 pounds this past week, well that's what I found out when I weight in Thursday February 17th. Lets keep this losing weight stuff going, yes?! Sounds good to me!
I should probably go to bed soon. Ha. We shall see how THAT one works out. :]
Loves loves. :]
Monday, February 21, 2011
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
"Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get."
Today is Tuesday January 25th, 2011. I'm two days away from the two weeks mark of the beginning of my diet. And as of this morning I have gained .4 pounds. Grrr. I am somewhat proud though because I have lost 12 pounds from my heaviest weight...but still. I'm supposed to have lost 2 pounds to keep up with my goal of 40 pounds by July 12, 2011. I'm not going to give up...this is just a minor set back. Yes sir, it's just a minor setback. You have the motivation and the want to lose the weight, Kayli. So DO IT! :]
Just a pep talk. Haha.
But life is going well, the usual ups and downs. We finally hired another person. Her name is Barbara, her Mom is a customer of ours, and she actually got glasses from us as well two or so months ago. She's 5 months younger than me and has a 4 month old baby girl, who is A-DORABLE by the way. And things are looking good so far, but only time will tell. I hope it's promising. :]
Loves loves.
Just a pep talk. Haha.
But life is going well, the usual ups and downs. We finally hired another person. Her name is Barbara, her Mom is a customer of ours, and she actually got glasses from us as well two or so months ago. She's 5 months younger than me and has a 4 month old baby girl, who is A-DORABLE by the way. And things are looking good so far, but only time will tell. I hope it's promising. :]
Loves loves.
Monday, January 10, 2011
Eyes of the Devil...
"Eyes Of The Devil"
It irks me when i get burned
And i realize, i don't get hurt
And always, it seems I've lost my way
When i feel you, it's not enough
And i need you to shun my touch
I notice the season's ripe for change
I'm weak
I'm weak
So with every new lesson learned
I could keep you before it turns
And the knowledge that things won't be the same
Now i realize that you have won
And there's nothing to be said or done
And i notice the wind won't blow my way
So run with the eyes of the devil
And keep them in your dreams
If you succumb to the lies of the rebel
You'll cleanse yourself of me
It kills me to watch this fade
And i realize it's all charade
And every mistake i make is the same
I beseech you to let me drown
Will it please you to let me down
And no one can save me from the pain
So run with the eyes of the devil
And keep them in your dreams
If you succumb to the lies of the rebel
You'll cleanse yourself of me [x3]
Jesus, save me! (I'm weak) [x5]
Jesus, save me from me
It irks me when i get burned
And i realize, i don't get hurt
And always, it seems I've lost my way
When i feel you, it's not enough
And i need you to shun my touch
I notice the season's ripe for change
I'm weak
I'm weak
So with every new lesson learned
I could keep you before it turns
And the knowledge that things won't be the same
Now i realize that you have won
And there's nothing to be said or done
And i notice the wind won't blow my way
So run with the eyes of the devil
And keep them in your dreams
If you succumb to the lies of the rebel
You'll cleanse yourself of me
It kills me to watch this fade
And i realize it's all charade
And every mistake i make is the same
I beseech you to let me drown
Will it please you to let me down
And no one can save me from the pain
So run with the eyes of the devil
And keep them in your dreams
If you succumb to the lies of the rebel
You'll cleanse yourself of me [x3]
Jesus, save me! (I'm weak) [x5]
Jesus, save me from me
The first post of 2011....
I have decided. This is going to be a good year. If only this stupid depression would go away. But I'm working on it. :]
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Forever and ever...
Well, it has certainly been a while, hasn't it? Well, life has been pretty good. Full of the usual ups and downs but mostly ups. :] Which, for me, is most excellent. Christmas went well here in the Christensen house. My favorite present, is one I bought about a month and a half early, is my 2004 Pontiac Grand Prix. :]]] It is-a gorgeous! :] Oh, and I did get a new iPod, of the Nano sort (it's a touch screen, cool, eh?!?!?)
Well, I was just reading a friend's post about being 17 months from 30 years old. And right now I'm just shy of 6 months from 21 and he set a goal to lose 60 pounds in the next 17 months. So, about 1 pound a week. So, in my want to lose weight as well I have to decided to try my damnedest to lose 40 pounds. That's giving me about 6.6666666 pounds to lose a month. And I think that is something that is very doable! And I'm going to do it. If I lose 40 pounds (from what I weigh now, well as of this morning) that will put me at about 193-194ish pounds. Which is a weight I haven't seen since junior high school. But I want to feel better about myself. I'm so so so so sick of looking at my sister and being jealous. Now, granted I don't think I'll ever feel as beautiful as her because I just don't feel I've got a gorgeous face and personality as she does. Which, I'm hoping that changes right quick with the change of my body. I thoroughly recognize that I need to lose over double 40 pounds ultimately. But, I'm hoping that I can find the motivation and desire to do so. But I think 40 pounds is a dang good start. I'm setting a before New Year's Resolution resolution; to get on every week and display my progress. Wish me luck! (Oh, and I think plenty of prayers will do greatly as well) :]
OH! I almost forgot to say this last thing. I absolutely LOVE my best friend, Kevin. He is an amazing man whom I've known for a good 14-15 years now. And I can't wait to add on 50 more years. I love you, Kev! :]]
Loves loves! :]
Well, I was just reading a friend's post about being 17 months from 30 years old. And right now I'm just shy of 6 months from 21 and he set a goal to lose 60 pounds in the next 17 months. So, about 1 pound a week. So, in my want to lose weight as well I have to decided to try my damnedest to lose 40 pounds. That's giving me about 6.6666666 pounds to lose a month. And I think that is something that is very doable! And I'm going to do it. If I lose 40 pounds (from what I weigh now, well as of this morning) that will put me at about 193-194ish pounds. Which is a weight I haven't seen since junior high school. But I want to feel better about myself. I'm so so so so sick of looking at my sister and being jealous. Now, granted I don't think I'll ever feel as beautiful as her because I just don't feel I've got a gorgeous face and personality as she does. Which, I'm hoping that changes right quick with the change of my body. I thoroughly recognize that I need to lose over double 40 pounds ultimately. But, I'm hoping that I can find the motivation and desire to do so. But I think 40 pounds is a dang good start. I'm setting a before New Year's Resolution resolution; to get on every week and display my progress. Wish me luck! (Oh, and I think plenty of prayers will do greatly as well) :]
OH! I almost forgot to say this last thing. I absolutely LOVE my best friend, Kevin. He is an amazing man whom I've known for a good 14-15 years now. And I can't wait to add on 50 more years. I love you, Kev! :]]
Loves loves! :]
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Close every door to me, keep those I love from me....
Hello.
Yeah, I think hello is quite the proper greeting. It's been a while, to say the least, since I've posted anything.... But if it counts at all I started a post a few days ago, just hadn't finished it and I decided against posting what I was going to rant about. Partially because I can't remember what I was going to rant about but then partially also because I don't want to post what I wanted to then now. Make sense? Good. :]
The past few weeks have been alright. On Saturday, October 30th I was leaving work and was walking down the associate stairs to go to my car (completely ignoring the distinct voice I heard telling me to go down the elevator) stopping on the second stair from the bottom to find my keys. Well, need I say more other than I did a good and forgot there were two more stairs, fell down them, and found out about a week and a few days later that I broke my ankle. Technically, it's a pull-off fracture of my talus (tay-lus) bone in my ankle. A not so good bone to break. And so, here I sit about a month later still wearing my boot, trudging around. "Gimpy" has become my nickname around town. Joy.
The semester is about to end and I have got a few final projects due in the next couple days that I haven't even started. Not. Good.
This semester has been a fairly good one. It's flown by. I'd recommend both my classes. But I'd warn for the International Literature and Culture class has a TON of homework and reading and it's absolutely insane. 900 points total for this class. CRAZY! Also, the professor of the class is a Gay man who has a deep interest in making you see his way. And a ton of the movies you are required to watch are all about gays. And I don't have any problem with treating everyone equally. And that's something this class has taught me especially. I've learned to have a greater love for human beings, and I've learned that I need to be a better person and not judge people. And there are things in the world I've never known that I've learned through this class. Throughout the semester we've learned about cultures throughout the world and things about our country I never ever would've known. Things that aren't so fabulous. I've learned about Marxism and democracy and the Aztecs and ancient civilizations and their beliefs and have grown to love History even more. I want a career and I want a career that changes lives. I know that I can never change the world but if I can make it better little by little then I want to do so. I still don't know exactly what that could be, but I intend on figuring it out.
Throughout the semester I've learned about the differences in cultures and how we as a society decide who is privileged and who is not and who's the "other." We decide who doesn't get the privilege. Before this class I never would've considered being able to walk into a classroom and not having to worry if I'm going to be the only white person in the class as a privilege. And there is so much more I can't even type it all right now.
But I've found a new person in me.
Now, I want to say that first and foremost I love my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ for everything they've done for me. One of the things this class has taught me is that I don't know a lot about other religions or other parts of the world and I now know that I want to. I still believe in the church and I know it's where I want to be. But I don't know without a shadow of a doubt if it's what I really really want. I do know that through the past few weeks (and a part of it has been that I've had to work on several Sundays causing me to miss church several times and I feel incredibly spiritually deprived and lost and I just need some Christ in my life.
I feel like I want to try other things. I don't know if I should feel bad about this or not. I don't know if my reasoning is because I just want to find something wrong or if I truly want to know the truth. My gut is conflicted. And that is making me very nervous. If I'm conflicted about my reasoning then I really don't want to venture out because then I really fear that I'll just find wrong where I want to find wrong. And I don't want to be misled. And I don't want my crazed mind to take over what the spirit is telling me and my heart is saying. Because I know best that my mind hasn't always been the best listener to what the spirit is telling me.
Oh good grief. I'm conflicted and I know what I've known for my entire life and then I know what I want to explore but I'm afraid for more than one reason.
Maybe I fear disappointing my Mother. But mostly I fear disappointing my Savior. The single person who has done more for me than I could ever repay. Do I want to defy His word just to satisfy my own curiosity? Or am I really not defying, I'm just sincerely wanting to know the truth. Am I expecting fireworks?! I think I'm the only one who has the answers. And of course another Sunday comes and I can't go to church because they're making us be open. Ugh. I hate this.
Yeah, I think hello is quite the proper greeting. It's been a while, to say the least, since I've posted anything.... But if it counts at all I started a post a few days ago, just hadn't finished it and I decided against posting what I was going to rant about. Partially because I can't remember what I was going to rant about but then partially also because I don't want to post what I wanted to then now. Make sense? Good. :]
The past few weeks have been alright. On Saturday, October 30th I was leaving work and was walking down the associate stairs to go to my car (completely ignoring the distinct voice I heard telling me to go down the elevator) stopping on the second stair from the bottom to find my keys. Well, need I say more other than I did a good and forgot there were two more stairs, fell down them, and found out about a week and a few days later that I broke my ankle. Technically, it's a pull-off fracture of my talus (tay-lus) bone in my ankle. A not so good bone to break. And so, here I sit about a month later still wearing my boot, trudging around. "Gimpy" has become my nickname around town. Joy.
The semester is about to end and I have got a few final projects due in the next couple days that I haven't even started. Not. Good.
This semester has been a fairly good one. It's flown by. I'd recommend both my classes. But I'd warn for the International Literature and Culture class has a TON of homework and reading and it's absolutely insane. 900 points total for this class. CRAZY! Also, the professor of the class is a Gay man who has a deep interest in making you see his way. And a ton of the movies you are required to watch are all about gays. And I don't have any problem with treating everyone equally. And that's something this class has taught me especially. I've learned to have a greater love for human beings, and I've learned that I need to be a better person and not judge people. And there are things in the world I've never known that I've learned through this class. Throughout the semester we've learned about cultures throughout the world and things about our country I never ever would've known. Things that aren't so fabulous. I've learned about Marxism and democracy and the Aztecs and ancient civilizations and their beliefs and have grown to love History even more. I want a career and I want a career that changes lives. I know that I can never change the world but if I can make it better little by little then I want to do so. I still don't know exactly what that could be, but I intend on figuring it out.
Throughout the semester I've learned about the differences in cultures and how we as a society decide who is privileged and who is not and who's the "other." We decide who doesn't get the privilege. Before this class I never would've considered being able to walk into a classroom and not having to worry if I'm going to be the only white person in the class as a privilege. And there is so much more I can't even type it all right now.
But I've found a new person in me.
Now, I want to say that first and foremost I love my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ for everything they've done for me. One of the things this class has taught me is that I don't know a lot about other religions or other parts of the world and I now know that I want to. I still believe in the church and I know it's where I want to be. But I don't know without a shadow of a doubt if it's what I really really want. I do know that through the past few weeks (and a part of it has been that I've had to work on several Sundays causing me to miss church several times and I feel incredibly spiritually deprived and lost and I just need some Christ in my life.
I feel like I want to try other things. I don't know if I should feel bad about this or not. I don't know if my reasoning is because I just want to find something wrong or if I truly want to know the truth. My gut is conflicted. And that is making me very nervous. If I'm conflicted about my reasoning then I really don't want to venture out because then I really fear that I'll just find wrong where I want to find wrong. And I don't want to be misled. And I don't want my crazed mind to take over what the spirit is telling me and my heart is saying. Because I know best that my mind hasn't always been the best listener to what the spirit is telling me.
Oh good grief. I'm conflicted and I know what I've known for my entire life and then I know what I want to explore but I'm afraid for more than one reason.
Maybe I fear disappointing my Mother. But mostly I fear disappointing my Savior. The single person who has done more for me than I could ever repay. Do I want to defy His word just to satisfy my own curiosity? Or am I really not defying, I'm just sincerely wanting to know the truth. Am I expecting fireworks?! I think I'm the only one who has the answers. And of course another Sunday comes and I can't go to church because they're making us be open. Ugh. I hate this.
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Isn't that the way, Everybody's got their dues in life to pay....
Okay, so I know my last post was all about how I hate my little sister and am blaming all of my problems on her. Well, this post is an apology to her.
Lisa, I'm sorry. I royally screwed up and totally threw you under the bus. I shouldn't have said what I did. I love you and I'm sorry.
But it's thanks to that post and ranting session that I really figured out what's my issue. And I still feel like I've got things I need to work on. Which is totally the case, but I know how to.
Aubrey Andrus,
Thank you much for posting that quote. It really got me going and want to change. I don't know what happened but I've started changing my lifestyle. I lost the 3 pounds I gained and even more than that. And it's going to continue. So, again, thanks so much for stalking my blog and posting such amazing things. I love you! :]
I also just want to say that I love my Father in Heaven and Jesus Christ and their meaning in my life. The constant love and understanding are the reasons I'm alive. The things I've been blessed with in life are beyond what I can repay, but I figure I can just be my best and give it my all. And that's how I'm going to get anywhere in life.
Criticize all you want people, but it's what I KNOW. WITHOUT A SHADOW OF A DOUBT. I know my Father lives. I know he loves me unconditionally, and I hope that everyone will come to know of His love. Because it's truly amazing and has saved my life in so many ways.
Oh, I also came to the realization that I have had a lot of trials in my life. And more are here and more are coming because I obviously have more things I need to learn. And my little pity party of a last post is no more. :]
Loves loves.
Lisa, I'm sorry. I royally screwed up and totally threw you under the bus. I shouldn't have said what I did. I love you and I'm sorry.
But it's thanks to that post and ranting session that I really figured out what's my issue. And I still feel like I've got things I need to work on. Which is totally the case, but I know how to.
Aubrey Andrus,
Thank you much for posting that quote. It really got me going and want to change. I don't know what happened but I've started changing my lifestyle. I lost the 3 pounds I gained and even more than that. And it's going to continue. So, again, thanks so much for stalking my blog and posting such amazing things. I love you! :]
I also just want to say that I love my Father in Heaven and Jesus Christ and their meaning in my life. The constant love and understanding are the reasons I'm alive. The things I've been blessed with in life are beyond what I can repay, but I figure I can just be my best and give it my all. And that's how I'm going to get anywhere in life.
Criticize all you want people, but it's what I KNOW. WITHOUT A SHADOW OF A DOUBT. I know my Father lives. I know he loves me unconditionally, and I hope that everyone will come to know of His love. Because it's truly amazing and has saved my life in so many ways.
Oh, I also came to the realization that I have had a lot of trials in my life. And more are here and more are coming because I obviously have more things I need to learn. And my little pity party of a last post is no more. :]
Loves loves.
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