Pardon me for my lack of excitement but I'm not entirely thrilled...

Why hello. :] It's been a while I realize. Sorry. It has been a crazy past couple of weeks. The weekend after Valentine's day my family and I took a quick one day trip to St. George to visit my ailing Grandpa. The Thursday after the Thursday after that I flew up to Boise (paid by my company) to go and work this expo we were having at the Boise store. After working approximately 35 hours in 3 days I fly home on Sunday night. Well during my little business trip, Friday March 5th to be exact, I got a call from my Mom telling me that my Grandpa had passed away. And I am so sad to see him go. Thank heaven for the knowledge of eternal families and the knowledge that I will see my Grandpa again.

Merrill Don Christensen was my Fathers, Father. He was born June 9th 1937 and passed away at approximately 3:00 AM on Friday March 5th 2010. He is the only Grandpa that I've really had a relationship with. Well, we didn't really have that close of a relationship but he has been in my life so much more than Charlie (my Mom's Father, which in all fairness to my wonderful mother is NOT her fault. And because of the choices he's made in his life I really have no interest in having a relationship with him.)
I loved my Grandpa very very much. He was always a quiet loving man and was a diabetic. Lisa and I would always love to go and watch him check his blood sugar and administer his insulin to himself. It was actually quite fascinating and he never would mind. Since My Grandma and Grandpa Christensen lived in St. George we didn't really get to see them very often. With the exception of Thanksgiving. We'd always go down to St. George for Thanksgiving and enjoy beautiful meals. Getting together with that side of the family was always enjoyable. No matter the little, meaningless, tiffs that we'd have we'd always seem to make it good times together.
Because of some of the events of the past weeks it's caused me to evaluate my life and where I'm at.
I will admit that I'm still not entirely happy with where I am but can now realize that there are worse places I could be.

I have the greatest parents in the world. I love them more than anything. Even though I can be stubborn and a sure pain in the butt for them sometimes they still love me unconditionally, and I couldn't be more grateful for their example. Or more grateful that I've been raised in the Gospel.

I've been having a tough time the past couple of months, and this is something I've never had to struggle with. I've never had my faith shaken or questions pop up in my mind about things that I really just don't even care to know about. There are questions that have come to mind and doubts that had been placed there and I've seen the power of Satan. He is a beast and I don't like him at all. I'm sorry, but he is a monster. I've seen, probably more now than ever before, just how he gets to you. It all starts with just this tiny sliver of doubt in your mind and then once he's there he'll find ways to clearly shake you even further. And the realization of this scares me SO much. I hate the thought that just because of the tiniest sliver of doubt it can grow into a full on fall from Christ. And I refuse to let myself get to that point. I don't think so dude. I will NOT be a vulnerable fool who lets you in for two seconds. I know now more than ever how true the church is. I don't care who you are but I KNOW that it is. And I feel sorry for anyone who doesn't have that knowledge for themselves but your day will come. I've seen the power of the Lord, and the strength he gives me is stronger than any sliver of doubt that can ever be put into my mind.
I chose to come to this earth to be a good person, to grow and to learn, to become a wife and a mother and to grow close to the Lord. I chose to come and face the trials that I've faced and I know that there are so many more to come. But I can take it. With the strength my faith gives me and the power of prayer I will not fall, I will succeed and I will prevail and I will be with my Heavenly Father again. I will walk with my Savior, Jesus Christ who died for me; who shed so many drops of blood for my sins. I can't ever repay him but I can do my best. And try to be the best person I know I can be and hope that's enough.